saw sting and his killer band from the fourth row. dominic miller is such a killer guitarist, and josh freese proves again that having a big hitter on the kit is always a good thing.

as for sting -- what can you say? i was so glad to see him in the stripped down form. no keyboards, no shmaltzy lounge versions of his better songs. i've witnessed this guy screw up more of his own music than other people have so i truly appreciated a back to basics approach. he sounded great and was obviously having a good time.

i also got to witness saul williams in the creative space vs the performance space. hanging out in the studio with saul while he put his stamp on a stuart davis song was a lot of fun...especially when several lines of lyrical beauty were delivered where they hadn't appeared moments earlier.

thanks for the opportunity to be there, guys.

and stu's new record is going to be really cool. stay tuned. btw...he hit a 39 on the back nine last thursday -- from the ladies' tees.

This reminds me of the last post I wrote, the one about artists being stereotypically fucked up. Out of all of the lines of development that get thrown around in integral discussions, it's weird that humor hasn't found a way into the spotlight. I believe humor and the ability to make others laugh is an amazing gift to our existence. Just think about how laughing connects us, helps us learn, opens our minds and busts through barriers of all kinds.

But it seems that Mitch's gift fell short of reciprocation.

So long, Mitch. Thanks for the laughs.

It seems to challenge what most of us actually want from art.

A while back I rented and watched Metallica's Some Kind of Monster which is a documentary of the band as they struggle through demons, etc. Most notably we get to watch lead singer, James Hetfield battle his alcoholism. I grew up with Metallica and appreciated Hetfield's candor and rigor through his process. This guy flew up the spiral and it was inspiring to watch.

But then they had to write an album from this place. And well, let's just say it's not my favorite Metallica album. Could it be that these guys are getting older, having kids and buying expensive toys while trying to capture the angst of youth? Or maybe it's that their development has taken some of the spark out of their creation? Maybe this new balance has seemingly robbed them of their edge.

But I have to admit I haven't really connected to Metallica's music in years. Hell, this is probably all projection because I've lost my own desire to make hard rock.

So tonight I watched David Deida speak about Art & Therapy (and sex, of course) and he makes this point that the best art usually comes from a great imbalance...from the greatest of the fuck-ups. And he's right. Otherwise John Tesh might end up being the voice of our endless questions, our finger pointing to God. That's fucked up.

And so...what is Integral Art? I've heard this question asked so many times and usually it made me want to puke. Why? Because it was usually asked from a headspace that thought it could conveniently define and file away something that was too big for the drawer.

Perhaps it was because my favorite art professor (and one of the most powerful personalities I've ever encountered), Ed Love refused to define art by saying, "If you can't define some shit, then don't use the word. As far as I know Art is some guy from Wisconsin who sells soap." He was way more into Being and I could buy into that. I still do.

But here I am, part of this wonderful movement to bring the best and brightest and latest and greatest to the table for artists to use. All of the practices, the awarenesses, the therapies, the wisdom, the tools to help us get out of the way for God to shine through and I can't help but think...

I like watching artists fall down.

Do I really want them to get back up?

check it out.

i'm in the passenger seat of that yellow jeep ("yella jeep" to be exact) on the right. the year is 1993 and i'm with a few of my buddies ripping it up at our hometown culture-fest, the 12 Hours of Sebring.

Never mind the fact that it's a prestigious car race where high culture and cutting edge technology bask in the warm Florida sun...no sir, it's really about rednecks getting drunk and doing crazy shit they didn't get to work out as a teenager. The link? Endurance.

You try to run a car a top speed for 12 hours without breaking down OR being the spectator that spends three days drinking and eating fair food with the bottom end of the human food chain. It's tough.

Getting caught on video is a pretty common, almost admirable occurance these days.

So, yeah...I'm a redneck. And I'm even proud I got caught being one.

Yella Jeep Forever!

Bent "Beautiful Otherness" (just sounds cool)
Cassandra Wilson "Fragile" (what a voice)
Chris Cornell "Sweet Euphoria" (what a lyric and performance. he has so much more to offer than Audioslave)
Curandero "Prayer" (this will induce an altered state)
David Bowie "Blue Jean" (check out the over the top chorus. what a star)
Elbow "Any Day Now" (driving through italy)
Failure "Another Space Song" (orbiting earth)
Fleetwood Mac "Hypnotized" (another spacey one)
Fu Manchu "Eatin' Dust" (this should be in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame - it will blow your ass off)
The Go Find "Over the Edge" (i might be gay, so what?)
Helmet "In the Meantime" (bow to Helmet -- the greatest riff ever)
Incubus "Sick Sad Little World" (love the chorus)
The Joy Circuit "X's" (new band that sounds like old U2)
The Mars Volta "The Widow" (finally a song from MV at a human tempo)
Miles Davis "Flamenco Sketches" (makes me want to play piano)
Nine Inch Nails "La Mer" (makes me want to drift down a river)
Notorious BIG "Big Poppa" (makes me want to be a pimp)
Pantera "I'm Broken" (makes me want to break something)
Patton Oswalt's 'Feelin' Kinda Patton' Album (a hilarious rising star)
Radio 4 "Dance to the Underground" (shake it)
Red Hot Chili Peppers "Suck my Kiss" (brilliant cock rock)
Robert Plant "Little by Little" (such a fun bass line)
Rush "Xanadu" (live from Exit...Stage Left -- takes me back to high school)
Ryan Adams "Monsters" (brilliant. makes me think i should quit writing songs.)
Seal "Fly Like an Eagle" (makes me think of his wife Heidi Klum)
Snoop Dogg "Drop it like it's hot" (you get the beer, i'll fire up the grill!)
Stevie Wonder "Lately" (it breaks my heart to hear Stevie's heart break. someone needs to whoop her ass. you can't do that to Stevie!)
Sting "When the Angels Fall" (it's like flying -- i hope Sting returns to this "place" sometime)

right now it's like a coin, right? flat, polarized with little room or depth to take a stand in the middle.

a football, on the other hand, puts the wacko extremists out on the little tiny edges and gives plenty of room for growth and depth as you move towards the "middle".

i think it'll be possible for this to happen whenever both "sides" own their own pathologies and blind spots.

i'm off the soap-box now.

since most of it is too personal to share here, i am excited to write about other things. for the last month and a half i've been in colorado -- denver to be specific. and although i'm growing to miss my friends and extended family back home, i am more aware of what it means to live one's life closer to his edge.

(click to read more...)

shit. we don't have a band and we haven't played live. on top of that we were still building our "team."

so since then we've had to climb this hill while maintaining our integrity. our hope is to play some shows in LA over the summer so stay tuned. in the meantime, visit the site and enjoy the music and visuals.

as a florida boy in winter colorado i've had to get used to a few things. up until yesterday the weather has been pretty tame (meaning no snow). but the gods invited the white stuff and i actually appreciate the new look.

after brunch in boulder, i looked up at the flatirons and imagined the perspective from there -- cold, windy and with that soft, quiet sound. perhaps a low rumble from the town activity below. i like to play that "what does it look like from *there*?" game. its a stretch for the self to take on a perspective beyond the norm.

on the inside i'm aware of lots of emotional stuff...the hurt of leaving people and comforts behind, the confusion of where the next steps will land, and the excitement of living a life of created opportunities.

my body is getting used to the altitude but i've been sick twice in a very short time. i rarely get sick so it's a little weird. i think part of it is from choosing to step up my fitness activity in this new environment and not being ready for the challenge. who the hell knows?

another great thing about being here is being invited into community. this is easily the most rewarding part. its great to see old friends and be able to spend regular time with them (instead of hurried visits) and i've also loved the opportunities to meet and hear people like Father Thomas Keating.

i saw him speak a few weeks ago and just fell in love. my first thought was, "okay, George Lucas didn't go too far when he needed character inspiration for Yoda" but this tall saint inspired much more in me -- and i hope for many Christians, too. it seems so many folks have abandoned the more common forms of Chrisitanity and its inherent limitations for a tradition from the East. this can certainly be positive, but Father Keating is a living example of how a solid contemplative tradition can grow and love in the West. perhaps more will "stick to their tradition" -- transcend and include, so to speak -- as Chrisitanity continues to reveal itself here.

i think this would be great for many reasons -- probably more so because the cultural aspects remain intact. there's very little to "translate". who knows how much is getting lost in the translation from east to west? i've been to chanting sessions where participants chanted scriptures for hours and they had no real connection to the words. wouldn't it be nice to have both?

perhaps a growing western tradition could offer that.

i'm humbled by this opportunity to share in this forum and my wish is to make more of an effort to do so. stay tuned!

watch videos, listen to samples from the record and be sure to sign up for our email newsletters. do it!

more stuff soon...

lots of stuff going on in my life but not much of it is appropriate to share here. sorry to be a snob, but after reading ottmar's journals i'm inspired to write some more.

along with stu davis, matt rentschler and alex gibson, i've been named a co-director of the Integral University Art Domain. (read more...)

my practice is strengthening after the holidays (i didn't slip that bad actually), and recently i've been working on a way to enhance my mental focus. it's simple...i just count my breaths up to 30 and back which may sound kind of easy -- go ahead and try it...for an hour. how'd YOU do?

i'm wondering what the significance of the number 16 is for me. i seem to get slipped up there and then i'm back to "one" again.

but i want to welcome my brother in crime, alex gibson to the blog world. be sure to visit his journal.

in case you're wondering, alex is my creative partner in Screaming Witness, and we both look forward to sharing our new record with the public soon.

The goal was to provide a safe area for those little demon, irrational fears to have their say. Based on what we'd learned from the Big Mind Process, we accepted the idea that there are aspects of the "smaller self" that need to be integrated into the Whole Enchilada. Some of these voices aren't very pleasant, and being out of touch with your fear is dangerous business. The pros call it denial.

We addressed several areas -- career, practice/purpose, relationship/family, and the Whole Self. I asked questions designed to provoke these voices, and each of us wrote privately what came up. Some of it is rather difficult -- admitting that there's a part of you that resents people you love, admitting to yourself that you're scared to take your practice deeper, afraid to lose your career in order to live a life with more purpose, etc.

The original plan was that we'd write our stuff, throw it away and burn it all at the end of the evening (that's what the bar-b-que was for). To my surprise, we all felt comfortable sharing these fears and the level of trust in the group benefitted greatly.

We weren't there to fix one another, we were just there to listen. We each understood how irrational, selfish or silly some of these fears may seem -- however valid. This was the safe place to give them acknowledgement without judgement.

And it felt like taking a bath. We enjoyed the little cleansing and fired up the grill -- watching the ashes scatter upward, and knowing we'd helped one another find a bit more clarity and confidence.

also, we've updated our "currency" for staying on task with our practices. let me explain...

well, it seems that money is cheaper than time -- we weren't sticking to our practices with this structure. sooooo, the next step was to revisit our agreed practices and now, for each missed task each man must donate 30 minutes of his time to the group (or community service). this could include car washing, tiolet cleaning, or dog grooming -- you get the picture.

i must say that there's a much higher success rate this time around.

My immediate family has been living down there for a while and we decided to do the turkey day in the sun -- with lots of seafood and absolutely no turkey.

It was great to be around the family because they keep me grounded. They really don't have much interest in my music or integral activities or whatever. It's usually just about us having some laughs and drinking a bit of rum. Okay, maybe a lot of rum.

Highlights include:

- Riding on the tuna tower of my folks' 31' Blackfin mesmerized by the magnificent color of the water.

- Eating a lot of great food -- seafood.

- Visiting the Dry Tortugas for the first time. It was a 140 mile roundtrip boat ride in 4-6 ft seas and I didn't throw up on one person. Sweet.

- Meeting my new "sister" -- my parents adopted a new kitty appropriately named Chum.

- Going for walks with my Dad.

- Coming home to my pup.

Hope the holiday went well for you, too.

Metta

on saturday we had a mini-listening party. just alex, phe (alex's girl), stu and myself. it was a dark room and the music was loud enough and we just listened, start to finish, to our latest creation. and for the second time i became deeply moved. i haven't quite figured out what it is or why, but some of these songs really tap into a raw place inside me. probably more so than any music i've written in a while.

a bit more fun with davis on sunday and then alex and i went back to the studio to tweak a mix for "killer". we dashed out to catch phe's last night in a one act play based on sam shepard's poems. i'd only seen phe in action on the big screen in some small parts, but this time on the stage i could really see her shine. and she did. it was weird seeing this other side of her but a good thing. she rocks. period.

monday we did some video shooting/interviews with Vasco Lucas Nunes. he's one of the primary people behind the film "Dig" and he was a treat to work with. we basically captured some stuff of us in the studio, and phe tried to get some interesting sound bites in an interview setting. it didn't take me long to figure out that doing interviews can get old quickly.

and of course monday evening a few of us managed to get a little rowdy, hollywood-style. and i'll just leave it at that.

tuesday = ouch. i came down with a cold but we managed to get a thai massage. the last one i'd had, this little woman had walked all over me and well, it sucked to be honest. when i came in this time, i had a, uh, heftier lady and i got really nervous. but she was kind, didn't walk on me, and was sensitive to my cold. she gave me some much needed mothering. thank you, small but hefty thai woman.

wednesday i woke up and my cold was in full effect. good news is that we were set to do a photo shoot with aaron farley in the early afternoon. a bunch of thera-flu and a few laughs from listening to patton oswalt later, i was ready for the big time. my face felt huge. my nose even bigger. let's take pictures!

thursday i flew home and somehow managed to get into first class (yay!). watched will ferrell in 'anchorman' and laughed out loud in between hacks. the guy next to me was coming back from china. and now HE'S got a cold. as dr. phil would say, i'm a contaminator.

so now we enter the next phase(s) of the screaming witness project: shop the disk to get a deal and put together a band.

stay posted.

so, let's keep our exchanges flowing the old fashioned way -- with telepathy -- until i come up with something new.