the fear game

Last night's men's meeting we tried something different. We decided to cook up a bit of trouble...

Armed with plenty of paper, some pens and a bar-b-que grill we decided to air out -- to ourselves and each other -- the fears and concerns that define our edges.

The goal was to provide a safe area for those little demon, irrational fears to have their say. Based on what we'd learned from the Big Mind Process, we accepted the idea that there are aspects of the "smaller self" that need to be integrated into the Whole Enchilada. Some of these voices aren't very pleasant, and being out of touch with your fear is dangerous business. The pros call it denial.

We addressed several areas -- career, practice/purpose, relationship/family, and the Whole Self. I asked questions designed to provoke these voices, and each of us wrote privately what came up. Some of it is rather difficult -- admitting that there's a part of you that resents people you love, admitting to yourself that you're scared to take your practice deeper, afraid to lose your career in order to live a life with more purpose, etc.

The original plan was that we'd write our stuff, throw it away and burn it all at the end of the evening (that's what the bar-b-que was for). To my surprise, we all felt comfortable sharing these fears and the level of trust in the group benefitted greatly.

We weren't there to fix one another, we were just there to listen. We each understood how irrational, selfish or silly some of these fears may seem -- however valid. This was the safe place to give them acknowledgement without judgement.

And it felt like taking a bath. We enjoyed the little cleansing and fired up the grill -- watching the ashes scatter upward, and knowing we'd helped one another find a bit more clarity and confidence.

posted by tripp on December 7, 2004 05:53 PM | in Blogs